WHY SELF CARE GOALS MATTER

WHY SELF CARE GOALS MATTER

For most of my clients, it’s easier to focus on caring for others than on caring for self. But self-care goals are important to your emotional well-being, and they are often neglected as we care for other people, or focus on work or parenting. You may not think of it this way, but caring for and about yourself is what gives you the energy and motivation to care for others. It also enhances your relationships, friendships, family connections and connections with work colleagues, because when you are well cared for, you are more open and generous with others. Neglecting self-care can lead to feeling anxious or depressed, and eventually burn-out, when you aren’t motivated to do anything. If you set goals and schedule them on your calendar, you will be much more likely to actually do them.

Here are some daily self-care goals you can aspire to:

1.daily exercise. In these pandemic times, it’s too easy to get caught up in all the responsibilities of working and schooling at home, and our normal prompts to go out are missing. If you are single and alone at home, daily walks or outings will break up the monotony. If you have children who are home-schooling, schedule a “recess break” and go outside, masks on, to do it. Toss a Frisbee, play tag or catch, and have some fun.

2.daily connection. You may be surprised to learn that connecting with others is a form of self-care. It will lift your spirits, give you some refreshing new inspiration from other people, and make you feel less isolated. When isolation rules are lessened, you can meet with friends and family members. When things are more closed down, you can form a book club, social meet or other group on Zoom, or just telephone a friend or family member who’s good company. Work connections might not have the same uplifting effect.

3.daily introspection. You may not realize how much you need an active, dynamic relationship with yourself. Get in the habit of asking your own opinion “How do I feel about this?” or de-briefing whatever is going on. Having an active conversation with yourself (instead of free-floating ruminating) is much more effective in reducing anxiety, helping you focus on your goals, and reminding you that even when no one else is around, you are not alone.

©2022 Tina B. Tessina. Adapted from:The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty andThe 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40: 2nd Edition

Author Bio: Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. (www.tinatessina.com) is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 40 years’ experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 18 books in 17 languages, includingDr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today; It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty; How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free; 52 Weeks to Better Mental Health, and her newest;Stop Overthinking: A Workbook. She writes the “Dr. Romanceblog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance.” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, TV, video and podcasts.

Author Bio:

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California, with over 25 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 11 books, including "It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction" (New Page 2003)""How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free" (New Page 2002) "The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again" (Wiley 2002) and "The Real 13th Step: Discovering Self-Confidence, Self-Reliance and Independence Beyond the Twelve Step Programs" (New Page 2001) She publishes the “Happiness Tips from Tina” e-mail newsletter and has hosted "The Psyche Deli: delectable tidbits for the subconscious" a weekly hour long radio show. She is an online expert, answering relationship questions atwww.CouplesCompany.comand Yahoo!Personals, as well as a Redbook Institute expert and “Psychology Smarts” columnist for First for Women. Dr. Tessina guests frequently on radio, and on such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC news.