IS PERMA THE KEY TO WELL-BEING?
IS PERMA THE KEY TO WELL-BEING?
Martin Seligman, who is often called the “father of positive psychology” has developed a theory of five elements of well-being that he maintains define flourishing. It’s an interesting list, but some components aren’t always simple to understand. Here I give his definitions, and my added two cents.
POSITIVE EMOTIONS
Positive emotions, such as warmth, rhapsody, ecstasy, and pleasure are what Seligman calls the pleasant life. While these emotions may make us feel good, they will not give our lives meaning. Positive emotions can also be quickly achieved—buying a sundae, taking a bath, and getting a massage take minimal amounts of time—and therefore require little effort. In my life and practice, I have found that generating positive emotions is not always so easy, especially if you were raised to think happiness is somehow wrong. While a single act can make you feel good in the moment, developing a habit of counting your blessings and generating a constant flow of positive feeling toward yourself is life-changing. “Attitude: from Negative to Gratitude” can help you learn to be more positive.
ENGAGEMENT
Engagement, which is also described as the state of flow, occurs when the challenges we face perfectly match our strengths—such that we are neither over-faced nor bored. In a state of engagement, we become completely absorbed in the activity, and both conscious thought and time appear to stop. There is an intense focus, a merging of action and awareness, and the activity is autotelic—meaning it is intrinsically rewarding. I believe engagement or flow can be either positive or negative. Being engaged in online gaming or other pursuits to the point of addiction, means being in flow, but it’s not necessarily positive. However, productive engagement, meaning a state of flow which accomplishes something, as when I’m “in the groove” writing, and it’s flowing easily, can be very creative and life-affirming. “Four Steps to Success” can help you find your flow.
POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS
Positive relationships captures the universal human desire for connection. Essentially, it is the presence of family, friends, and social connections, with whom we can feel understand, validated, and valued. It is these relationships that not only give us a sense of belonging, but a resource for which to process difficult life events. Yes. Relationships which enhance our lives are a key ingredient for happiness, beginning with a positive relationship with oneself. “The Healing Power of Friendship” can help you build better relationships.
MEANING
Meaning is described as the act of belonging to, and acting in service of something greater than oneself. It is through acting in pursuit of something larger than ourselves that we find a deeper sense of purpose—transcending our own self-interests. It is also through meaning that we experience a deeper unity, and a deeper connection to the world around us. This can be difficult for many people to find. “Tapping Your “Inner Mentor” to Create New Meaning in Your Life” can help you figure it out.
ACHIEVEMENT
Achieving something uniquely fulfills the universal human need for mastery. And important in the definition of flourishing is that mastery can be undertaken for its own sake. That is to say that the pursuit of mastery may not lead to any positive emotions in the moment; however, it may contribute to an individual’s sense of well-being. I think it depends on what you are achieving. Climbing up the corporate ladder can involve mastery, but if you don’t think your work is accomplishing something meaningful, it doesn’t feel like achievement. “Your Job on Earth” can help you figure out how to follow your bliss.
The PERMA acronym is helpful in remembering the five elements that define flourishing: Positive Emotions, Engagement, Positive Relationships, Meaning and Achievement. May your New Year be filled with happiness.
Author Bio:
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California, with over 25 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 11 books, including "It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction" (New Page 2003)""How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free" (New Page 2002) "The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again" (Wiley 2002) and "The Real 13th Step: Discovering Self-Confidence, Self-Reliance and Independence Beyond the Twelve Step Programs" (New Page 2001) She publishes the “Happiness Tips from Tina” e-mail newsletter and has hosted "The Psyche Deli: delectable tidbits for the subconscious" a weekly hour long radio show. She is an online expert, answering relationship questions atwww.CouplesCompany.comand Yahoo!Personals, as well as a Redbook Institute expert and “Psychology Smarts” columnist for First for Women. Dr. Tessina guests frequently on radio, and on such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC news.
